So much progress

Tonight was another milestone with my sweet kiddos. The four of us took a walk around the block, without a stroller! And without any crying or meltdowns!

Now, this may not seem like a huge deal. After all, they all have been walking a few years. But it is.

When the boys were a little over 1 1/2 we moved into some townhouses that had sidewalks all through the complex, then a little path that ran parallel to the road. Mostly I just took them for walks in the stroller, but I knew they liked to run, and it was good for them to get their energy out. It was a few years ago, and I don’t remember all the details, but I can say with about 95% certainty that every single walk ended in meltdowns, with me trying to carry them back and/or getting them to walk. I was pregnant with Adisyn and couldn’t carry them both easily. At the time, we did not know about their autism. But kids with autism develop routines, and they are very rigid. When they get an idea in their heads, it is hard for them to be flexible. My boys have made tremendous progress in this area, but when they were younger, it was hard to get them to do something other than what they wanted.

On those particular walks, generally, one would want to go one way, and one the other. It resulted in “jello-legs” and me trying to get them to stand up. There was also a LOT of loud crying, and I bet the neighbors we passed thought I was, for sure, torturing them. Because of this, most of our walks happened in the stroller. They seemed much more content to go the direction I wanted to while in the stroller. After we moved to the house we are living in now, for a while, they wanted whoever was taking them for a walk to go a certain way. Generally I went the same route for our walks, so I’m sure that didn’t help with their flexibility. After a while, they got over that, and I could go pretty much any direction and they’d be fine, as long as they were in the stroller.

Last fall I decided to try to take them out walking without the stroller. I took only the boys, since at the time, Adisyn was slower. Now she keeps up just as fast as the brothers. Tyrell could go on forever. We could walk/jog well over a mile, and he was never ready to be home. Terrence would tire out earlier, and would want to go home before Tyrell was ready. That created a conflict. They knew which turns around our house resulted in getting back home, and it was hard to convince Tyrell to go that way.

After several times of taking them out, they got a little better about coming home. I would plan the walk a certain route, that would end us back at our house, without seeming like I was intentionally cutting it short. But there were still some rough times, and times they’d come home crying, or I’d have to carry one, and try to get the other brother to walk. Then I’d wonder if it was even worth taking them out. Now I know, they were probably too over-stimulated, and just couldn’t handle everything that was going on.

So one day my mom offered to take the boys out for a walk. I’m pretty sure it was last fall, and I think it was a no school day, or Adi or I was sick, or something. But I was in desperate need of a break so I could at least take a shower. So Grammie came to the rescue. The past few walks had gone relatively well, and I told my mom the route that seemed to be working, and off they went.

About 20 minutes later, I got a call from my mom, with the boys crying in the background. I felt so bad for her! She was trying to bring them back home, and Tyrell didn’t want to go. Terrence got mad about that, cause we was ready to go home, and it ended in an all out meltdown. They were 4 years old, and very heavy. It was hard carrying one for a long distance, much less 2. And they were not into walking, at all.  It was just down the block from me, so I got Adisyn in the van, and hurried down there, and got everyone loaded up.

Situations like this one make so much more sense now, since I know the reasons behind their behavior. And I try to avoid putting the boys in over-stimulating situations where I know this may happen. As they continue to recover from their autism, they will more and more be able to cope in situations where they couldn’t previously. But since we are trying as hard as we can to draw them out from their autistic world, we want them to spend their energy recovering, not coping in over-stimulating situations.

I have found that with taking just one of the brothers, or one brother and Adisyn, they are better able to cope when we take them out to do something. I think it is because they are so connected, and when the brothers are together, it adds another thing for them to pay attention to. So in these past couple months, during mornings where I am in the playroom with one brother, and my mom is out with Adisyn and the other brother, she has been taking them for short walks, just around the block. And they have been doing awesome! Their favorite thing is to push Adisyn’s little baby strollers. Adi puts a baby in hers, and the boys usually put their cars in, or the naked baby that goes in water.

I have taken them a couple times, and tonight we were wanting to go for a walk. I knew I didn’t want to walk long, since my energy has been low from my surgery. So I asked the kids if they wanted to walk too. Of course they did, and off we went. I asked them to not run too far ahead, cause I wasn’t feeling up to running with them, and they stayed right with me. There were a few times we had to cross the street, and they all knew what to do. We held hands, and looked for cars before we crossed. Before, the boys had no concept of the street being dangerous. Later they would dart out because they knew they weren’t supposed to. Now that they are more aware of the street, and why they can’t just go out, we are able to play more in our front yard, so we have a lot more time to teach them about that. And I would say, probably 95% of the time they do great with not trying to go in the street.

So there we were…. My cute little family taking a stroll around the neighborhood! Such a “typical” thing to do. And moments like these, I never take for granted. I also know that there will be countless more to come.

The kids love to play hop-scotch now. Before there would be no way I could trust them to play out front without running off in 3 different directions. Now they know to stay in the yard and driveway, and on the sidewalk right in front of our house.

I love this picture of Tyrell and Adisyn. Although, I need to mess around with my camera more, and figure out why so many of my pictures are turning out blurry… (it’s the right side of Adisyn jaw line, if you can’t tell since the picture is smaller)….

Aww, Terrence and Adisyn in a rare moment of sibling sweetness.

Tyrell and Terrence with Auntie Charity looking at the ducks at Alton Baker earlier this summer.

Adisyn smelling the yummy rose from the flowers she picked out for me.

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