My babies turn 5!!!

It is so hard to believe that in a few hours my baby boys will turn 5 years old! Well, actually, they are not babies anymore, they really are growing up so much, and so fast. Five years old just seems like a big kid, and they are.

My pregnancy with the boys was a surprise. I had always wanted to have a baby, we just weren’t necessarily planning for one right then. We were living up in Scappoose, OR, and my sister-in-law was visiting from NJ. On my way back home after taking her to the airport I picked up a pregnancy test. This was not the first time I thought I may be pregnant, but as all the other times, I was expecting it to be negative. Well, it wasn’t, and neither were the next 3 that followed. At the end of the month we were in Eugene and told the news to my family. It was still seeming surreal to me. It was so fun to imagine what it would be like to have a baby, and wonder if it would be a boy or girl, and what we would name him/her.

I started seeing a midwife, and everything was checking out just fine. At my first appointment we couldn’t yet hear the heartbeat, and so at my next appointment which was when I was 12 weeks pregnant, they said they would do an ultrasound if we didn’t hear it. Well, we did, and so we did not have an ultrasound. At my 16 week appointment I was measuring 4 weeks big. I literally thought nothing of it. And wondered if maybe my dates were off. The midwife searched all around listening to the heartbeat. I was wondering why, then she said “Nope, I only hear one heartbeat”. I remember thinking “Well, of course there’s only one”. The thought of twins NEVER entered my mind. I had always thought it would be fun to have twins, but just didn’t think I would since they aren’t in my family.

At my next appointment two weeks later, I was scheduled for my ultrasound. This was the “big” one, where we would get our first glimpse of our baby, and get to find out if we were having a son or daughter. My mom and sister Michelle came up for the event, and the night before we were out shopping. I was so convinced I would have a girl, I almost bought a little dress.

When the ultrasound started, the tech explained that first she would do the measurements, and then she would turn the screen and show us the baby, as well as print some pictures. She said it would take about 20 minutes. Right away after starting the ultrasound she asks us why we were having one. I explained that this was the routine one, and that we wanted to find out the sex of the baby. Only a couple minutes later she turns the screen to us, and I thought “Wow, that was really fast!”. I see two round things on the screen, and, having never seen an ultrasound before, I thought it was the head and belly. She points with the arrow to one circle and said “Here is the head”. And I said “Aww….” Then she points to the other one and says “And here’s another head” and I said “Shut Up!!” (in an excited way…) I think Joseph jumped on his feet at that point, we were both in shock! After showing us that indeed there were 2 babies, Joseph went out and told my mom and Michelle, who had to wait in the waiting room. When he came back in, she took another look and found out they were boys. I couldn’t believe it!! Two boys!?!? It was so much fun calling all of our friends and family. They were all waiting to hear if the baby was a boy or girl, and NOBODY was expecting this news.

It took a while for reality to set in that we would indeed be parents of twins. We decided to move back to Springfield, so that we could be near family, as we knew we would need the support. I saw my OB doctor down here, who referred me to a perinatologist after another ultrasound. They could not tell for sure if there was a membrane separating the boys. Most commonly there is an ultrasound done early on in the pregnancy where it would have clearly shown if each baby had their own amniotic sacs. But since mine was so late in my pregnancy, it was hard to tell. The problem with not having their own sacs was that their cords could tangle with each other. There was a 50% chance of a cord accident. At 29 weeks my perinatologist said he could say with 75% certainty that the boys were in the same amniotic sac. And he recommended that I deliver them by c-section at 32 weeks. Babies born at 32 weeks have a 98% chance that they will be ok. We decided that was the safest option. In the mean time, I went to my OB 3 times a week for a non-stress test, to see if there were any decelerations in their heartrates. Which could indicate a cord tangle. I also had another really cool ultrasound that showed the blood flow from the placenta to the umbilical cords.

I was admitted to the hospital on a monday, two days before their birthday, to receive steroid shots to help develop their lungs. We were able to get a tour of the NICU, and that helped so much. It was hard to imagine how small a 3lb baby is until you see one. It was also nice to get to see the NICU, as I knew we would be spending a lot of time there. I still remember everything about it, even the smell.

I was so scared before going into my c-section. Joseph could be with me, but not until they had my spinal block in. The only surgery I ever had was on my ankle in the 7th grade. But more than the surgery, I was scared of not knowing how my babies would be. We prepared ourselves for the fact that they may not cry right away, or be able to breathe well, and may need to be intubated. Joseph Tyrell Selewiyon was born first on July 28, 2004 at 9:35am, weighing just 3lb 4oz and 16 1/2inches long. He was crying, and I was so happy! I started crying right away, and I remember seeing this tiny baby being passed to a nurse, shown briefly to me, they whisked away. Less than a minute later Terrence Judson Nyundweh was born, at 9:36am weighing just 3lb 6oz and 16 3/4inches long. He also cried, which made me cry more. Joseph went to be with them, which is what I wanted. I then got sick from crying so hard, and don’t really remember the rest of the surgery, except that the babies and Joseph went to the NICU, and they promised I’d have polaroid pictures when I was in recovery. I found out the next day that the boys were indeed, in the same amniotic sac. The odds of that are about 1 in 10,000. Their cords were very knotted and tangled. It was definitely God’s protection that nothing happened, and His timing for them to be born. Other than being small, and needing to grow and develop, they were born healthy.

It was about 2 hours I had to spend in recovery. I had many pictures that I just couldn’t put down. The boys were doing well, both needed breathing support from a c-pap, which pushed a steady flow of air into their lungs so they didn’t have to work so hard. After I left recovery, they wheeled my bed in, and I got to hold both of them! They curled up like little red frogs on my chest, and I just remember thinking, amazed, that they were just in my stomach hours earlier. They were the most beautiful babies I had ever seen!  And sooo tiny…. They had black hair, but not too much. And they still had fuzz on their shoulders. They got overstimulated and stressed pretty easily since they were so early, so I only held them for a while. Later that night I was able to go back, and hardly left them after that.

I was completely in love. I could stare at them for hours. And I did. I was glad that I didn’t have other children at home, or a job I had to be at, so I could spend the whole day with them. It was so hard to leave them every night, but it helped knowing that they needed to be there. They needed to grow and develop more. After 40 days, it was finally time for them to come home! I couldn’t believe the time was finally here, to be “real” parents. We had one night to room-in, where we stayed in a regular hospital room, on our own, with the babies. It was so fun. I felt like I was a kid at a sleep-over. I loved looking at their tiny faces, free from feeding tubes and tape. After bringing them home, I was so happy, and on such an adrenaline high. I just wanted to hold them all the time. And I did. They loved being rocked, and so we rocked for hours. They were such good little babies. In the hospital they were on a pretty routine feeding schedule, so that helped once we got home. The sleep deprivation quickly kicked in, but we managed it. It was fun.

Now that seems like so long ago. The boys were, and still are, very happy kids. I loved watching them discover that they had a little playmate. They were about 5 months old when they started interacting with each other. They have always been best friends. When they were 22 months old, they became big brothers, and have loved Adisyn since she was born. Well, Terrence took about 2 weeks to decide that she was alright, and has been a wonderful big brother since then. Now they are almost 5, and the years all just run together. The boys are still best friends, and wonderful big brothers. Now they all 3 play together so well. It is so cute seeing their interactions. Adisyn loves to boss them around, but now they are learning they can boss her too.

The last 2 years have been monumental for my boys. Two years ago, they had less than 10 words in their vocabulary. Now they are saying 4-5 word sentences consistantly, sometimes up to 8-10 words. Two years ago, their main form of communication was screaming, whining, crying and more screaming. You can’t even imagine the level of stress that was in our house. They had us trained very well to their cries, so we were just reinforcing that should be how you communicate. About 9 months ago, we came to the realization they had Autism. A couple months after that, we had a confirmed diagnosis, and only a few weeks beyond that, we came upon the Son-rise Program, through the Autism Treatment Center of America.

We decided we would attend the Start-up, which is a training for parents to develop and run a home-based recovery program for their child(ren) with Autism. Five short weeks later we were headed for Massachuttes for a trip of a lifetime. That is what it felt like to me, because this program has transformed our lives. It taught us a new perspective on how to help our children, on how to love them and accept them, and believe for a recovery for them.

We came home and got things set up for our program. We have been running it since the middle of March, with the help of our wonderful and dedicated volunteers, who have become a part of our immediate family. It is very exciting to see the changes in our boys, the growth, the light in their eyes, the love for interaction and learning that they have. Their vocabulary has taken off, they talk to each other while they play, they call each other by name, as for things with words first, they ask questions. They include us so much more in their play, and look at us multiple times per minute while interacting. They are so much calmer, and can go with the flow much more easily. They engage in imaginative play, which never happened before. It is simply amazing. I am grateful each day that we found the Son-rise program, and for everyone who so generously helped us financially to go to the training. We believe whole-heartedly that our boys will recover completely from their Autism, and I am so thankful we now have the tools to get us there.

Five years ago, when I first became a mommy, I fell so in love with these two, tiny babies. I couldn’t imagine loving them more. And yet, I do. I love hearing them talk to me, to call me Mommy. I love their smiles and giggles. I love how they think they are still small enough to curl up and both fit on my lap. I love looking down while I’m holding them and seeing two dark heads of curly hair, and remember that was what my first glimpse of them was, that day at my ultrasound. My heart melts when they said “I love you”. I love seeing them playing together, and with their sister. They are such sweet, happy boys. Part of me wants them to stay young always, to be mama’s little boys. But I know they will grow up, and I can’t wait to see what they will become. But to me, they will always be my babies.

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